Elvis Drives a Ford Taurus

That may sound humorous to some, but residing in B-town, it is a fact of life. Elvis is just a working stiff like most everyone. He drives a regular car, has a regular family for which to provide, and does so the best way he knows how: by putting on his work uniform- a white, rhinestone-studded jumpsuit, and performing for two hours or so in front of flip-flop-wearing tourists who flock to this tourist trap on a yearly basis. While his performance is undoubtedly entertaining to these people, I'm aware that perhaps this is just the daily grind to him. Maybe he hates the sight of that "uniform." Maybe those sideburns of his make his face itch or keep him from feeling "hip." I wonder if his wife packs him a fried peanut butter and nanner sammich for his lunch/dinner/between shows snack. Does his wife look like Cilla circa 1967? Jet-black bouffant hair and eyeliner a la racoon? When Ann-Margaret was in town, did he meet her for a secret rendez-vous? If gambling is ever approved in the area, will Elvis perform at one of the casinos? Has the B-town Elvis ever been to a clambake? Does he know karate? Does he lie awake at night wondering what the real Elvis was thinking when he opted to wear those Liberace-esque jumpsuits? And what about those capes on those jumpsuits? Superhero in the making perhaps? It's a bird! It's a plane! No! It's the King! Able to span 3 octaves in one measure of music! Able to eat foods even people in third-world countries would question. Able to make grown women swoon with the giving of a sweat-stained silk scarf. That's Elvis. And there's probably at least one of them in every town, so sleep easy. And be thankful that it's not everyday you can drive down a busy street and see Elvis making his way to the daily grind in his Ford Taurus, wearing his white, rhinestone-studded jumpsuit uniform.